Why I failed and will fail again

Why I failed and will fail again


I have spent the last 3 years of my life searching for failure on a daily basis. Failure is an extensive part of life, fitness, and wellness. For we as humans live to pursue. Who wish to pursue our dreams, people, and ideas. Any worthwhile pursuit is met with adversity. If think you have a goal currently or not you are on a journey to fulfillment and will be met with adversity. The question becomes how do we conquer our dreams or emulate the idols of our childhood. We must become comfortable with adversity, to embrace it, to look for it, and strive to overcome it. The classic quote by John F. Kennedy should be your motto for life and the foundation of your fitness journey. "Don't pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men."

When I was younger, I shied away from all challenge wishing never to be seen in a bad light. I only wanted to be recognized as a boy free of folly, free of mistakes. I did not know yet that life is a journey. Any journey worth taking is met with conflict. I was met with a very real challenge I became overweight, severely overweight, pre-diabetic at the age of 12. The crisis of childhood obesity was a very real concern but unbeknownst to me. I  would soon get a first-hand experience to ramifications of poor eating and overall poor health choices. In addition to my declining health, difficulty breathing, and difficulty socializing. I was also ridiculed, made fun of for my size and weight, and being the only African-American child in the entire class did not make it any easier. 

Now if you have never been the fat kid in school or the nerd, or the geek you may not understand. For those of you who have been there, you know all too well how vicious a middle schooler or a fifth-grader can be to someone who looks different or acts differently. Just as I did not understand the reason for their criticisms, they did not understand my pain. They chose to ostracize me rather than help me strive. They were children, children know no better. The turning point really came when my own mother told me that I had a chest as big as hers. This was the final straw I was tired of the jokes, the sweating, the discomfort. I wanted to change. 

However, up to this point, I had always turned away from a challenge and beginning a new wave of lifestyle changes at any age or at any fitness level is impactful, yet difficult. Nevertheless, in many cases, you find the right amount of trauma or the right words from the right person spark something inside you. For many is that one morning they stare in the mirror little longer than usual. Really, assess themselves and finding that they are not happy where they are, they are not happy with their body, their job, their marriage and change must be made.  Starting and maintaining consistency is always the hardest part. Wanting to be better than my peers is what drove me. I wanted to prove everyone wrong to show myself, and to show them that I am just as capable as they are if not more so. Above all else, I wanted to be able to laugh back.

Not the best motivation I know, but it worked and after a while, my confidence grew. My stature among my peers grew as well. Although, soon my outlook would change I found myself on this journey not to push other people's faces into the dirt but to see what I had inside to see what I was able to achieve. After a year of two consistency, I was able to look back at myself my past self and say I am different now and I'm different because of the work I was willing to do in spite of the challenge. My methodology changed I became concerned with self-improvement not only for health not only to look good but because if I had removed challenge for my life again I would never feel the joy I had then looking back on myself two years removed. I believe we as humans need the challenge, to seek it so we can overcome it.

If you are looking back at your past self and you are wondering "what happened?" What happened to you is that you stopped. You did not want to fail again. For some, you never failed. Your journey is not finished. To stand for something is to stand against something. If you do not make a stand, you will fall. Today take a stand knowing that you will fail, and fail, and fail again but you will get back up. You will learn, you will overcome, and grow stronger. This is our journey as human beings, we must not shy away from it.

carlos riceComment